Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
