I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
I am naked and annoyed.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
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