They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
i believe in u and ur pee
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
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