Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
