I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
I have post one night stand depression
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Randomize
