Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
