Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
