every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
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oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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