I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Randomize
