Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
