i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
time to smoke my breakfast
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
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