your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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