you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
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