Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
