just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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