I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Randomize
