One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
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