dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
