My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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