If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Randomize
