he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
