If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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