He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Randomize
