We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
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