i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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