do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
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