we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
