Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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