Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize
