you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
My liver just had a heart attack.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
