the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
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