I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Randomize
