she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
