bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
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