Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
