I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Randomize
