Banned from zoo.
Again?
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.�
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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