he shaved USA in his pubs
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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