I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
