I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
