I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Randomize
