So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Help. Why am I so naked?
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
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