I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Rumble strips road head = magical
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
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