no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
seriously iPhone. stop autocorrecting all my fucks into ducks. you're making all my strong worded texts look harmless and adorable.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
