Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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