is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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