In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Randomize
