My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
