a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
He is an equal opportunity slut.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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