What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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