I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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